The Parent-Child Agreement
by solofia
Summary: The birth and evolution of Sheldon Cooper's and Amy Farrah Fowler's inevitable written agreement with their superior progeny.


January 1st 2023

"Urgh." Amy grunted, stepping into their room.

"What's wrong?" Sheldon asked, sitting up

"They are kicking again." She answered, rubbing the bump that stretched her nightgown to the point where the buttons down the front nearly popped off.

"They better settle down and save some energy for their birth." Sheldon remarked, while helping the mother of their children fluff and set up the pillows she now badly required for sleep.

"It's not happening Sheldon." She rolled her eyes as she sat down on their bed, her back against a pillow originally meant for the babies but temporarily snatched to make sure their mother made it to term without having to be carried on a stretcher.

"Of course it's not, it not the 2nd yet." He gloated, giving Amy a kiss on the forehead before joining his palm to hers on the bump.

"They are going to hang in there until graduation. I'll have 2 pairs of eyes sticking out from behind my uvula in about 5 years"

"Do you think we could educate them from here? They can hear us after all."

Amy rolled her eyes, the exhaustion of the last trimester doing a number on her patience. "I just want some rest, my back has been killing me all day."

"Ok then face this way." Sheldon asked, repositioning the pillows so Amy could lie on her side facing him.

"Why?" She groaned at the idea of having to move.

"So you can fall asleep while I discipline our children sternly."

"Ok…" She undid the buttons over her bump as it had become routine since they had found out and groaned again at the difficulty facing the other side posed, even with Sheldon's help. He gave her his "I'm so sorry" look, which had been developed during the great morning sickness crisis of the first trimester before giving her a quick kiss and pulling a couple strands of hair away from her face. His left hand then moved to the bump right over the mark of a tiny foot and he settled on his side as well.

"Good evening my little homines novi! Your mother and I would like you to know we have recovered from your Uncle Leonard's New Year's party, it was a pleasant time but not one I think you'll be sad you had to miss."

"Sheldon…" Amy warned.

"I said it was pleasant!" He snapped back, missing a tiny smile starting to tug at the corners of Amy's mouth.

"On other news I called your meemaw earlier today and I can confirm she has a suitcase packed by her door back in Galveston. As we have discussed with you she has decided-"

"Kindly offered…" Amy corrected.

"Kindly offered…" Sheldon repeated rolling his eyes at his wife "…to stay with us for the first two weeks of your lives arguing that she has likewise given birth to a set of twins and swears we will want all the available help."

"But your other grandmother doesn't need to know that we are letting meemaw stay over here for so long and we don't want her feelings to be hurt." Amy added, staring down at her belly and rubbing the skin over yet another kick.

"I thought you said it would drive you mad to have her constantly pick on our parenting."

"And because we love her we would like to avoid most situations which would make us have not nice feelings towards Grandma." Amy responded, gritting her teeth towards the end of the sentence.

"Ok… on a simpler, less emotional note we have your room furnished and decorated and your names picked out and embroidered on several items by my meemaw." Sheldon gloated happily. "She's great, we have been over this before. She's getting too old to travel so eventually we are going to take you to Texas to meet my side of the family, either June or the Holidays depending on how your immune systems develop. We have also already told you kids that your middle names are going to be Leonard and Penelope but your Uncle Leonard and your Aunt Penny don't know that yet. It's a surprise for when we introduce them to you. And a show of our gratitude to them for the support they gave us when we were having a hard time conceiving you." Amy moved her hand over his own and squeezed it, a habit they had developed whenever the painful year and a half before the much wanted pink plus sign came up.

"Also they have no blood relation to you." He added.

"Sheldon!" Amy yelled, slapping him lightly on the arm.

"Not wanting your mother to argue with me in front of you two I'll correct what I was trying to convey: as you will spend more time with them and their progeny than you will with most of our relatives Leonard and Penny may was well be considered family by you." He looked back up to Amy, finding he seemed to have successfully avoided a fight with her upon finding one of the corners of her mouth turned up.

"And you two will get two cousins from them to play with." She all but gushed,

"You have heard Luke's voice multiple times as he seems to be excited about babies in general nowadays…" Sheldon scoffed.

"Sheldon…" Amy warned, not wanting to repeat that same conversation.

"Who names their child Waverly? Waverly is either a geographic location or that same geographic location only with teenaged wizards!"

"Luke was so excited about his little suggestion that Leonard and Penny grew attached to the name too, we've been through this!"

"Fine. In about two months your Aunt Penny will birth a small female child and give it a dumb name, you three will get along great."

"But still you two were so wanted." He added. "For a while we began to think it might not happen for us. And here we are now, with your mother's uterus bursting at the seams." He beamed.

"Shel-"

"Not that a uterus has seams." He corrected before Amy could point the inaccuracy out. "We will have a conversation about your anatomy when you are a little older but you two can keep that in mind."

Feeling her eyelids starting to droop, Amy rubbed the two spots on the bump she still felt movement under as a silent goodnight and decided to steer the conversation back into their preparations, in hopes Sheldon would enumerate until she slept. "We have everything ready to for you really, everything we could think of we did. Let's see…"

"I spent an entire afternoon with your grandfather looking through a dusty attic to retrieve your mother's old Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy dolls. We washed them and put one in each of your cribs. I found my train sets from childhood months ago but you don't have the motor skills to enjoy them just yet. We have purchased several science materials suited for infants and children up to the age of 10 years but with all the tutoring you'll get from us and your genes I expect you two to outgrow them quickly. There isn't much else to do other than settle in for the night until at least midnight, time at which you are welcome to be expelled from your mother's reproductive bowels, be subjected to some measurements and tests, and then take a nap in our arms. So for the next two hours I order you to sleep. I'm your father I can order you around." He finished feeling a hard kick right on his palm.

"Don't you sass me young lady!" He received another two kicks in the same spot, knowing they had come from their baby girl that had been residing on the left side of Amy for the past two doctor's appointments.

"That one is going to be trouble Amy." He said, touching the other side of the bump and feeling no movement from their apparently far more well behaved son.

"Amy?" He asked after getting no answer. Amy was starting to snore lightly and he knew better than to wake her once she finally managed to sleep.

"See what you have done? Your mother is knocked out cold." He whispered to the bump, feeling another kick from his daughter.

"Little Lady I swear to Spock that if you don't settle down I'll start talking about the Parent-Child Agreement again!" He felt yet another kick.

"Suit yourself. Parent-Child Agreement, Article yet to be numbered, the children shall be read to one, and only one, goodnight story per night starting from the age-" All movement under his palm finally ceased.

"Don't write a contract for them just yet Sheldon! Let's make one with their input once they are old enough to communicate verbally Sheldon! Don't stipulate which eye glass frames they are allowed to get in case they inherit my under average vision just yet Sheldon!" He mimicked Amy with an eye roll. "What could be more calming and soothing than contracts? You kids are making your mother all kooky." He looked back up at Amy's sleeping form.

"And also exhausted. Goodnight Amy." He inched his head forward to place a kiss to her forehead before slowly sitting up, hovering over the bump to place a kiss on each side of it before starting to re-do the buttons of the nightgown. "Goodnight Stephen. And goodnight miss "I'm too cool to rest for an appropriate amount of hours at a time" Laura." He snapped as he pulled the covers over them and settled in for sleep.

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His dream of being an X-men was cut short when Professor X started to sound like Amy. Realizing it was all a dream and knowing it was probably their due date already he sat up in bed panicked.

"What's wrong? Is it time? What do I do?"

"It's 6 AM that's the time!" She complained as he flicked the bedside lamp with no warning. "I need help getting up from this bed. I have to pee." She said, trying to roll over on her own and grunting.

"8 hours sleep? Dang right you have to!" He ran to her side, helping her up and guiding her to their bathroom as if she were an elder.

"Do you need help?" He asked as he opened the door.

"I'm pregnant not an invalid!" She rolled her eyes before waddling inside and shutting the door behind her.

Sheldon leaned against the wall just in case he was needed again. He couldn't even let his mind wander off back into the dream he'd been having before a scream startled him.

"SERIOUSLY?!"

"What's wrong?" He panic-screamed as he burst into their bathroom.

"My water just broke!" Amy replied, her breathing heavy as shock temporarily overtook her.

"In the most convenient of all places? I knew our children would be advanced, let's get you to the maternity ward!" Sheldon ran out of their apartment and down the stairs to 4A.

"I need-" She muttered.

"LEONARD, IT'S TIME GET YOUR KEYS!" She heard him shout from the floor below.

"Help standing up from the toilet." She groaned, waiting for the father of her children to return.

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Their children arrived at 11:47 and 11:59 PM. After a whole day coaching his beloved through contractions and covering both their eyes when she finally gave in and begged for an epidural and its giant scary needle, he was given a gown and a spot by Amy in the delivery room. She would be giving birth in a small OR in case an emergency c-section was necessary but to their luck after a little over half an hour in there they heard a cry followed by the doctor holding up a screaming baby. A nurse told him he cried but he doesn't remember, he apparently agreed to cut the cord despite it being the most uncharacteristic thing he could think off. All he can remember is their (THEIR!) son being placed in Amy's chest and her crying and calling him over as the baby's cries were beginning to lessen. Before he knew it the baby was being taken away for exams and the doctor was begging Amy to focus on delivery the remaining twin, who despite her frequent acrobatics had a textbook ideal presentation, meaning no c-section would be needed. Amy found some strength he didn't know a human could even possess and before she could break his hand from squeezing it they heard a second much shorter cry of their baby girl. Unlike her brother she opened her eyes as soon as she heard Amy's choked voice and looked around everywhere as she wriggled in little arms and legs. As she was also taken for tests Amy ordered him to follow the nurse and make sure both their children were fine while she dealt with the placentas and he obeyed her orders. With both children in perfect health he followed the nurse as she wheeled the bassinets to Amy's room, where she looked exhausted but the happiest he had ever seen her. All she had to do was stretch her arms before the twins were placed on them. A lactation consultant had been by to help them with the feeding (Amy had been too scared to try tandem feeding but to their surprise both babies latched on without issues as they nursed one at a time) and the OBGY-N had also come in to check on them when he noticed thirteen missed calls from Leonard. He forgot to call him! His mother had been with Leonard and Penny in the waiting room for hours! Amy assured him she was not too tired for them to sneak in for 10 minutes so before he knew it they had 3 people crying in their room, none of which were infants. Leonard and Penny had begun bawling their eyes out the moment he opened the door for them with his son in his arms, he hadn't even gotten to the children's names (which only exacerbated the crying).

Since then, the visitors had left, both babies were peacefully asleep on their bassinets and his wife was snoring lightly despite her claims she'd stare at their babies for hours. He was on the big arm chair right next to the bed, staring at his progeny and admiring how much of him and Amy was visible.

The boy seemed to have most of his features except for Amy's eyes, chin and hair color. He was sleeping in an almost rigid state, looking like the world's most serious baby. Mary Cooper had gasped at how much like his father he seemed and truth be told Sheldon felt a connection with the little tyke already.

Then there was the girl, he had so hoped she would look like Amy and except for her blue eyes she largely did just that. She was much more sociable than her brother, eyes as big as saucers wandering everywhere. She was going to be quite curious was the general consensus, probably the crazier of the two judging by how much she wriggled in her sleep, much like her at times almost constant movements in the womb. She would probably be the end of him and he couldn't care less about that.

The baby he was so focused on admiring suddenly woke up and scrunched up her nose, a wail dying on her mouth as her panicked father quickly gathered her in his arms

"You are going to be trouble aren't you?"

At his voice the baby calmed down and giggled at him

"Fascinating, you have mastered the control of almost all facial muscles required for smiling. I knew you'd be a homo novus."

She wriggled a tiny arm out of the blanket to tug at his shirt. When he pulled her little hand off the cloth material to try to grab it she began to cry again, making him panic.

"Article 1. Sheldon Lee Cooper, here known as the father," He began out of something similar to impulse or desperation and noticed the crying immediately go down several decibels. "-and Amy Farrah Fowler here known as the mother, promise to love and care for Stephen Leonard Fowler Cooper and Laura Penelope Fowler Cooper, here known as the children, for as long as they shall live." He stared at her little face, relaxed and content once more, with droopy eyelids.

"Much like they have done since before they were even conceived, gestated and birthed." Amy added, wiping a tear on the corner of the bedsheet.

"You're awake?"

"I'm a mom Sheldon, my babies cry I wake up." She replied, him catching her smile as she said the word 'mom'.

"Do you want her?"

"Yes please, but I think she's more of a daddy's girl." Laura happily switched parents, grabbing a strand of Amy's hair lazily and nestling into her chest.

"Do you think she needs anything?" Sheldon asked.

"She seems pretty content right now, maybe she just wanted to be held."

"Great, 6 hours old and already clingy." Sheldon quickly looked back at the bassinet that held his perfectly still and peaceful son.

"You'll be wishing she were still this clingy when she's 16."

A flash of a teenaged girl in a miniskirt and backless halter-top appeared in Sheldon's mind, along with that same girl fighting with Mary Cooper over a box of condoms in her drawer and the no-good boyfriend he now realized was the one using them. The tiny girl Amy was holding would not be like that right? She'd take after her mom and wouldn't date until adulthood, education would be her priority unlike Missy… but Amy did allude to having had wanted a boyfriend at a much younger age than the 27 going on 28 years she was upon their meeting. What if their little one and the Cooper blues she had captivated men sooner? Dear Lord!

"God I hope she's not like my sister!" Sheldon cried.

"We have no reasons to think so yet but her brother looks a lot like you." Amy was right. Laura was hours old. There would be other issues more pressing than a romantic life to handle first and some of those seemed equally daunting. In contrast their son had yet to launch him into any sort of panic, he cried when he needed to be fed or changed and other than that he kept to himself, much like his old man…

"I know right? Barely complained." Amy chuckled at his words but he didn't really know why.

"I think Article 1 can be written down as we said it. If it's a promise from us to them I don't see when we can't start writing it. It's not like you haven't been typing an idea or two up every once in a while." She said, the baby in her arms asleep again.

"Really?"

"Yes. But there will be no signing on their part until they develop fine motor skills."

"They'll be doing that before you know it!" He gushed.

2 seconds later Stephen began to cry bloody murder and in the process woke up and made his sister cry.

"Something tells me it may feel longer than it will actually be." Amy took a deep breath and began rocking Laura to calm her while Sheldon tried to do the same to Stephen by reciting prime numbers."


End file.
